Do I though? It’s my Friday, kind of. Last day of the work week, but hardly my last day of work this week. I’m squeezing a million and one “to do’s” into the day and hosting book club tonight (yay – highlight!), and then headed to Olympia bright and early tomorrow morning (I mean, so bright and early it’s not even bright yet) to volunteer for Youth Advocacy Day with the Mockingbird Society (school-related, though I am absolutely taken with this organization), and then headed to school for a full nine-hour school day on Saturday.
Light at the end of the tunnel? Sunday, I guess…but it just doesn’t seem like enough right now. I’m tired thinking about it all. And yes, this post is undoubtedly the reason I’ll stroll into the office this morning in jeans with my hair half-dry in a bun.
P.S. Where are you, Bridget?
I had a crazy. busy. meeting-filled. stressful day. With the exception of 30 minutes before lunch, I didn’t actually sit down at my desk until 5:06 tonight. This wouldn’t normally be a big deal, and would even be welcome under certain circumstances. However, today I also had a realization. I stared down my Outlook calendar – just me and the screen – and I acknowledged that life was back in full swing. I accepted that I needed to start saying no (again), that it would in fact me necessary to schedule “study” into the days, and that if I didn’t carve out a couple hours here and there during which I wasn’t in meetings, I’d never…ever…find the time to do my job. Well.
And so it goes. The cycle. I get crazy busy, spend long hours in the office, come home in tears, and resent my obligations. I feel hopeless and call my brother just to remember not to take life too seriously. I crawl onto the couch and underneath the blanket only to plug in my flash drive or log onto webmail. I buy a bottle of wine to make myself feel better, and don’t even have the energy to open it.
Yes, please do break out your little violin. This is my least favorite part of the cycle, and I anxiously await the part where I put down the computer, call up my lady friends, and cut a rug. Or at least turn on the TV and watch some Goss Girl.
I realize I do this every quarter, but this time…the countdown is really on. This quarter has been rough. Nine credits in eight weeks with the full time job, four weddings, one dog, one special houseguest, one honey, Canada Day (err…my birthday), and one 60th birthday party in L.A.
Needless to say I am beyond excited that my last class is 13 days away (I told you I’m counting) and then I’m home free until mid-September, give or take a week in Vegas for work.
A few things I’m ever so excited for:
- Seattle sunshine – I’ve barely seen it.
- New books that have nothing to do with marketing or resource development
- Longer walks with Loki, or just walks with Loki depending how you look at our current “outside” time
- Lake Washington
- Organizing my life
- Getting back to the Farmers Market
- Making social plans and getting back on the horn (and skype) with my besties!
Tonight marked the start to what promises to be the most busy summer to date. I had my first marketing class (which I really enjoyed), kicking off three nights a week for the next eight weeks. Throw in four out of town weddings and one out of town birthday and you have a very busy Summer Quarter. However, this overwhelmed feeling of far too much to do, not enough time – has become familiar, almost comforting. I lose my sense of direction a bit when things calm down, not to say I don’t enjoy and appreciate it, but I seem to do okay running around from commitment to commitment. So here we go – to a CRAY but fruitful summer. And to a not quite planned but definitely happening August trip to NYC, when things “calm down”.
I googled “stress” images, and this is what I found. I swear I sat in this position three different times today.
I’ve spent the last two days at work in a near permanent state of high blood pressure, stress and anxiety. I’ve had eight meetings since Monday morning, during each of which I have watched my inbox suffocate with ideas and successes, as well as complaints and failures. Just how much can one person do? I love my job, and in theory…I love my role. But no matter how hard I work, how many emails I send off, or how many dollars I help put in the bank, lately, every day seems to end with the sense that I’m just not doing enough.
I just googled “stressful job”, curious what would turn up. In addition to articles written mostly by companies doing career placement and the likes, I came across a listing made by ABC of the “best” and “worst” jobs. I’m glad my job didn’t end up on either list. However, “event coordinator” did wind up sixth on the “most stressful” list; how appropriate. So if you do a stressful job, but you love your job…how do you cope? Seriously. I’m asking.