I’m so happy to share with you that I have a headache. It means so many things: that I have no homework, that I presented my Capstone yesterday, that I went dancing last night, that I woke up with nothing to do today…but yoga. Ahhhh. This. Feels. So. Good.
I’ve been on Pinterest for the last 30 minutes. Totally guilt free. Look at all the fun things I found! Yes, I’ve been asking insistently if I’m getting a kitten for graduation. No, I don’t think it’s happening.
Those who dwell, as scientists or laymen, among the beauties and mysteries of the earth, are never alone or weary of life. -Rachel Carson
Of my favorite beauties and mysteries of the earth are the people I am so honored to work with everyday. My life has changed so immensely in the past few years – this year, having been like many in one.
It’s amazing that this experience is wrapping up. That today, our team, and our department will gather, to share in the learning, the growth, and the challenges of the last 12 months. To celebrate the next steps.
It has been a … year. Hard. Sad. Full. Exhausting. But absolutely full of joy and beauty and a type of connection to other people, to my life, to myself, that I have never known before. It has changed the type of daughter and friend I am. It has tapped me into the mystery and unknown that lives at the center of our days. It has opened me up to a new knowing of myself that I never expected, and am just unpacking.
As life shows us things in her own timely fashion, this week has been filled with loving and generous reflections. Today a patient said, in response to my thanking her for sharing so much with me, that to listen is to be human. While we all want to be heard, for her, what we really seek, is the ability to listen. To listen to words, stories, silence, bodies. To be connected and receiving another’s reality. To witness and be welcomed in.
That is precisely what my days consist of. The job ushers me into connection with strangers over and over. The stranger can be lost almost instantly. It is suddenly you and another. It is one of the greatest gifts of my life to tend to these connections. To listen. To be seen. To hold space. To love. To create belonging – if only for 1 visit.
So, tonight we celebrate and honor the work of the last year, and so importantly, the many patients who have taught us, day in and out. Their lives have made this experience possible, and has forever shaped me.
I’ve got one exploding heart right now.
With my Capstone presentation just 10 days away (ahhh!) and graduation 7 more, I’ve clearly removed my head from the books to focus on more important things. Namely, my graduation gift… to me. What to gift me?
With so much free time I’m bound to wear down my old yoga mat. Should I customize it with “MNPL”?
Won’t need to carry my books around anymore… new purse?
The theme is obviously extravagance, as I would never pay for a purse what those two cost. So, going with it… a trip to Sparkling Hill Resort in Canada. I’m going on two years I’ve wanted to see this place. Graduation gift?
So, if you were me and you were feeling unnecessarily deserving of a splurge, what would you do?
I think in our very long year and a half of co-blogging I’ve never been so lame. My brain is simply fried. All at once I’m trying to drag out these last 14 days as long as possible, get them over with as soon as possible, and have a little patience and understanding (with myself). I still have a lot of work to do. Can’t wait to get back to having fun on the comp.
Wondering how the no FB on the iPhone is going… are you feeling re-connected with the re-al world?
So, I am really into Brene Brown right now. Her first TED talk in 2010 on vulnerability had me in tears the first time around. Yes, I was in social work school. Yes, I was teary most of the time. And, her words are simple and powerful. She speaks directly, through her research and personal stories, to the heart of our humanness. We need connection, belonging, safety. It’s so simple. And hard. Each and every one of us are wired in such different ways. We hear through our histories, through our hurt, through our dreams, through the lenses created by every moment of our lives.
She newest talk is about shame. A word that I haven’t historically had a huge relationship too. It’s always seemed big, and dark and scary (and Irish Catholic) and more than what I feel about myself. Ever. But, it’s so there. That inner critic that limits how I express myself, what I ask for from my relationships, what boundaries I draw. Take a peak at what she has to say.
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html
For women, shame operates in different ways than for men. “Do it all, do it perfectly, and never let them see you sweat… A web of unattainable conflicting expectations for who we are supposed to be.” That hits home for me.
And while her books are a little self-helpy (who am I kidding? I love self-help) they are worth the quick read.
