Monthly Archives: March 2012

Blog Love

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“There’s something sacred about reading a blog post on someone else’s site. It’s like visiting a friend’s house for a quick meal ’round the breakfast table. It’s personal — you’re in their space, and the environment is uniquely suited for idea exchange and uninterrupted conversation. In many ways, we should be treating our blogs like our breakfast tables. Be welcoming & gracious when you host, and kind & respectful when visiting.” – Trent Walton

I have tried to start many blogs. Keeping up with an consistency has been hard. Something that has been so great, and easy-making, about writing with you, is that I get both experiences Trent is writing about above from ballardtobrooklyn. I get to look in as a visitor, waiting with much excitement to see what you have written, and I get to leave something for you, and whomever might find heir way to the page. It’s so nice to take a few minutes everyday to try and create a little pretty something. To put some story or thought or idea out into the world in a way that both makes sense outside of my brain and is enjoyable to take in.

In general, away from here, I like how everyone and their mother has a blog. While I am slow to grow into electronic reading on ipads and kindles, I think one of the greatest gifts of the internet is the capacity to self publish and the mass sharing of our stories. On a number of occasions, I have been left in tears, or laughing out loud, to the randomly stumbled upon words of someone I will never meet. From the comfort of my own bed, the product of procrastination most often, I am almost intuitively linked to new people. And things like this and this and this, which I now review regularly.

 

 

A Tribute

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The mama at 28 years old (wedding in Golden Gate Park) - wasn't she a beaut?

My mom was amazing in every way.  From her smarts to her laugh to her compassion to her love, she is missed every day.  This weekend’s Pink Party will be a celebration of her life and the lives of so many women who also lost their battle.  It’ll be a tribute to the hope that the color pink carries for so many of us, and it’ll provide a venue for our community to do something about breast cancer.  I’ve been so overwhelmed by the support of friends, classmates, co-workers, and family members who want to be part of this movement.  And I’ve been blown away by the dedication, time and energy that bestie Teeny has shown to Northwest Hope & Healing, and to me.  Love you, Teeny.  Can’t wait!

 

Attention need be made

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In the 80′s, ACT UP came out of the HIV epidemic here in the city. Their mission: to give a story, through faces, to a disease that was destroying an entire community. Before ACT up, no one was giving light to the humanness of HIV.

Breast cancer patients, survivors and advocates quickly followed suit, bringing cancer out of the closet. 25 years ago, 90% of women diagnosed did not share this news with their children or communities. Today, 90% do.

Speaking generally, there is a lot of hope in the cancer world. Our technology continues to improve and treatment success is more and more successful and likely. But, there is a new “cancer”, one that sees little airtime. Metastatic illness- chronic cancer. There is no ribbon and very few support groups, but more people, are rediagnosed with cancer, in a new site or sites, that is beyond curative treatment. They will live for the rest of their lives, managing cancer. For how long? No one knows.

They live in an unknown land, where they live through the cumulative effects of treatment for years one end, without a clear “to what end.” They are highly isolated, not newly diagnosed, not a survivor, not palliative, not end of life. They survive people they were diagnosed with. They are rejected by those who are Cancer free because they represent the ultimate fear: that it will come back. They have to answer the questions they don’t have answers to constantly by children, parents, friends and coworkers.

Hope, our central cancer coping mechanism, doesn’t have a clear or easy home with “mets.”

So, there is work to be done. More and more everyday. Because as life spans lengthen, we will live longer with more chronic illness to manage. And we’ve got to learn how to talk about it and provide the desperately needed support for patients and families alike.

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Breast cancer awareness lives in pop culture 25 years later.

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Where will metastatict illness go?

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What are the chances?

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It’s official. I have now, on two occasions, seen people on the street who I have been on airplanes with. Absolutely confirmed to be the same people- albeit in my own head, with my own memory, but these were distinct characters. The first, a very tall, sort of mad scientisty white guy who was one row behind me in a flight from jfk to sfo was eating froyo in park slope several weeks later.

Last night, I walked smack dab into a woman and her two sons that had been on the corresponding return flight. I remember them because I saw them at the baggage drop off first. We had to wait for almost an hour before going through security. Then we were on the same flight, a row away. Now, today, the same subway stop.

These run-ins, make me feel two ways. 1. The world is an amazingly small place and is just generally, amazing.
2. I have a bordering on freaky memory for people. Most of the time I feel like this is an awesome gift. Other times, it makes me feel a little stalkery. Of ourselves, these feelings are only compounded by Facebook. My human being recall is highly enhanced by daily tracking of essentially, strangers.

I digress- It makes me wonder how the brains of generations to come will be wired. There is constant talk a out how the Internet, texting and other easy access communication is ruining or human ability to connect authentically, with total attention and presence. I think about that, too (especially as I have to discipline myself to not pick up my phone and look at something else during a meeting or conversation. It’s hard). but I also wonder how our. Rains are actively adapting to integrate more information. Increasing our ability to remember one another. Increasing the likelihood that we remember who we sat next to in planes and trains.

Cause I have to admit, it’s pretty comforting to run I to the same strangers again and again.

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